BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. Piercing noises wake me violently as my dreams are shattered. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. It shriekingly floods my unconcious until I can no longer ignore it. This wretched sound screams, longing to be noticed. Finally I hit the snooze button. Ten minutes of glorious silence. The reminder of the alarm has shattered any hopes of returning to the peaceful haven of my dreams, but rather keeps me on guard, waiting for the next round of this loud monotone declaration. This would probably be one of my least favorite sounds in the world! This sound reperesents the realization that my adventurous dreams are being called to an end and that my day, full of work, school and other monotonous daily activities, is only just beginning.
BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. There it is again. If only my alarm clock knew I wasn't ready to give up my warm comfortable, especially to hit the cold, hard ground running! No thank you! I think I would much rather stay in bed.
BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. That is the sound of my alarm clock disagreeing with me. I know I am fighting an uphill battle, but I hit the snooze button yet again. Maybe I can catch just one more glance at the dream world I don't want to leave behind. I grasp for the pleasant memories I had just given up minutes ago, but I can't find them. I now know the meaning of a race against the clock. I stuggle to find them before my alarm goes off again. Maybe I think that if I can make it back to my dream world, I can stay there, even if my alarm clock doesn't think it is the best idea. I start to remember the dreams I had just given up. I am just barely being swept back into the warm, welcoming dreamland, when I hear it echoing deep in my being...BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. It sounds like nails scratching on a chalkboard. I snap back to reality and realize I can't hide from it. I roll over, turn on the lights and turn my alarm clock off. I must face it. I am awake. No thanks to my alarm clock!
Word Count - 367
Monday, January 30, 2012
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
My First Car
When I was sixteen, I could not wait to drive! Many of my friends had cars. Some were what you would expect for someone who was only beginning to drive, maybe a little beat up or possibly a bit older in style. Some were cars that I could only envy, convertibles and classics. I honestly didn't have a clue what I would be driving. I spent my days dreaming of what most sixteen years olds dream of...shopping for thecar they would come to cherish. It was, after all, a right of passage. When the time came for me to actually get a car, my parents and I searched for just the right fit. Little did I know, my parents and I didn't exactly have the same idea of the "perfect fit". I was thinking small, compact, possibly even practical. I never was someone who wanted to drive a fancy car. As it turns out, my parents were not thinking in terms of small. They were not thinking in terms of compact. And if you ask me, they certainly weren't thinking in terms of "practical". As it turned out, I really didn't have much say in the matter of my "dream car", because right before my very eyes, and certainly beyond my control, I because the not-so-proud driver of a 1990's Ford Aerostar Van.
The van and I mixed just about as well as oil and water. I am just barely over five feet tall, and it was almost comical watching me try to maneuver this bright teal monstrosity. I would park multiple blocks away from my school so that I didn't have to park in the school's tiny parking lot, and probably to avoid being seen. I don't think it ever occurred to me that this walking a couple blocks to school in and of itself defeated the purpose of having a car. To make matters worse, shortly after the van came into my possession, the sliding back door broke, and I had to drive around with bungee cords wrapped tightly around the passenger side doors in order to ensure they would stay in place. Hardly any of my friends dared to ride along as my passenger, and I can't say that I blamed them.
While at the time, I found it mortifying, I can look back now and realize that I am incredibly lucky to have had a car to drive. I can even realize that I now have a few incredibly funny stories stemming from driving such an interesting vehicle for so long.
Word Count - 426
The van and I mixed just about as well as oil and water. I am just barely over five feet tall, and it was almost comical watching me try to maneuver this bright teal monstrosity. I would park multiple blocks away from my school so that I didn't have to park in the school's tiny parking lot, and probably to avoid being seen. I don't think it ever occurred to me that this walking a couple blocks to school in and of itself defeated the purpose of having a car. To make matters worse, shortly after the van came into my possession, the sliding back door broke, and I had to drive around with bungee cords wrapped tightly around the passenger side doors in order to ensure they would stay in place. Hardly any of my friends dared to ride along as my passenger, and I can't say that I blamed them.
While at the time, I found it mortifying, I can look back now and realize that I am incredibly lucky to have had a car to drive. I can even realize that I now have a few incredibly funny stories stemming from driving such an interesting vehicle for so long.
Word Count - 426
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
What I Wish I Knew Before....
During high school, even though I don't think I was even aware of it, I think that I spent far too much of my time trying to fit in. If you want to know which crowd I was trying to fit into, I honestly couldn't tell you. But looking back, I can tell you that I rarely felt like the things I did were because I wanted to do them, but because I felt that I needed to do them in order to live up to some sort of standard that somehow seemed to have been set for me. After graduating, I set out on one of the biggest adventures of my life. I don't think I could have ever comprehended how drastically this experience was going to alter my life, but it did.
When I first went on the road, (or on "Team" as we called it) I had originally been called as a vocalist for the group, but through a series of unfortunate events, our soundtech had to return home indefinitely. This left an immediate need for a soundtech. On my team, I was the only person that didn't play an instrument, and by process of elimination, I became the chosen candidate to become the not only the vocalist but the soundtech as well. I knew NOTHING about sound technology, and here I was about to venture out on a year's adventure doing something that I was clueless about. I am the kind of person who likes to do my best in what I am doing, and I just didn't see how I could achieve that when I didn't understand my job! In fact, at that point, I knew I just could not do it. I set myself up to expect failure.
The organization that I worked for had a really wonderful program set up, so that experts in the field of sound technology actually trained us in our daily tasks. The only problem was that I had missed a majority of that training by coming in late, and had a very short amount of time to catch up before heading out on my own.
Before team, I was by no means a "technologically savvy person"...in fact, I was quite the opposite. I think that if I even looked at any kind of electronic, I could probably break it, and here I was about to accept responsibility for thousand of dollars of equiptment. I just kept thinking, "I can't. I can't. I can't."
I had three amazing soundtechs working with me to catch me up, and one day after a near-melt down on my part, one of these soundtechs took me aside and said, "You know, you are capable of doing anything, you just have to allow yourself to do it."
This stopped me in my tracks. How did I decide I was not capable of being a sound tech? How did I decide I was not capable of so many other things that had come my way? Right then and there I learned probably one of the most important things in my life. I am my biggest obstacle. I decide what I let myself believe I can do. I wish I had realized this before, because I think I might have had the courage to explore many new things so much earlier!
I did go on to be the soundtech for my team, and yes, I even broke a few things. But by the end of the year, I was able to do the unthinkable...I could fix what I broke! And I wouldn't have been able to, if I hadn't stopped holding myself back.
Word Count - 609
When I first went on the road, (or on "Team" as we called it) I had originally been called as a vocalist for the group, but through a series of unfortunate events, our soundtech had to return home indefinitely. This left an immediate need for a soundtech. On my team, I was the only person that didn't play an instrument, and by process of elimination, I became the chosen candidate to become the not only the vocalist but the soundtech as well. I knew NOTHING about sound technology, and here I was about to venture out on a year's adventure doing something that I was clueless about. I am the kind of person who likes to do my best in what I am doing, and I just didn't see how I could achieve that when I didn't understand my job! In fact, at that point, I knew I just could not do it. I set myself up to expect failure.
The organization that I worked for had a really wonderful program set up, so that experts in the field of sound technology actually trained us in our daily tasks. The only problem was that I had missed a majority of that training by coming in late, and had a very short amount of time to catch up before heading out on my own.
Before team, I was by no means a "technologically savvy person"...in fact, I was quite the opposite. I think that if I even looked at any kind of electronic, I could probably break it, and here I was about to accept responsibility for thousand of dollars of equiptment. I just kept thinking, "I can't. I can't. I can't."
I had three amazing soundtechs working with me to catch me up, and one day after a near-melt down on my part, one of these soundtechs took me aside and said, "You know, you are capable of doing anything, you just have to allow yourself to do it."
This stopped me in my tracks. How did I decide I was not capable of being a sound tech? How did I decide I was not capable of so many other things that had come my way? Right then and there I learned probably one of the most important things in my life. I am my biggest obstacle. I decide what I let myself believe I can do. I wish I had realized this before, because I think I might have had the courage to explore many new things so much earlier!
I did go on to be the soundtech for my team, and yes, I even broke a few things. But by the end of the year, I was able to do the unthinkable...I could fix what I broke! And I wouldn't have been able to, if I hadn't stopped holding myself back.
Word Count - 609
Friday, January 20, 2012
The Problem of Evil In Fiction
The two types of truth that Card describes are the illusion of truth and the substance of truth. The illusion of truth is the idea that the reader can relate to truths the author presents because it is a truth that the reader has had some sort of experience with. These are experiences that we can't deny to be a part of our lives. These are facts that we know that no matter reality or fantasy, they will always be the case. The substance of truth is the author's idea of what is true. Regardless of whether it holds truth elsewhere, what is important is that the author believes it to be true. As Card mentions, "what seems evil to one person may seem right and just to another." (pg 227). This means that an author can not tell you, in a believable manner, that something is right when if fact, the author isn't a personal believer in the statement.
I agree with Card's claim that it "is impossible for a writer to convincingly violate his own conscience in his fiction". I think that if an author writes with only a partial conviction of the substance of truth, the reader will lose interest. I think that it is within the writer's responsibility to have a sense of conviction when they are writing, and it is hard to write in conviction about something that you have doubts about. It's like a professor asking a student to believe in a concept that they, themselves, don't personally find to be true. I think that not only is it impossible, but it doesn't do the story any justice to not have conviction behind it. Why would the reader believe part of the story if there are other parts that seem to be unbelievable? Why would the reader want to take the time to read something they didn't trust? The main objective as a writer should be writing in truth so that the reader can follow the story in the integrity that they need.
Word Count : 338
I agree with Card's claim that it "is impossible for a writer to convincingly violate his own conscience in his fiction". I think that if an author writes with only a partial conviction of the substance of truth, the reader will lose interest. I think that it is within the writer's responsibility to have a sense of conviction when they are writing, and it is hard to write in conviction about something that you have doubts about. It's like a professor asking a student to believe in a concept that they, themselves, don't personally find to be true. I think that not only is it impossible, but it doesn't do the story any justice to not have conviction behind it. Why would the reader believe part of the story if there are other parts that seem to be unbelievable? Why would the reader want to take the time to read something they didn't trust? The main objective as a writer should be writing in truth so that the reader can follow the story in the integrity that they need.
Word Count : 338
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Fears as a writer
When I am writing, one of my biggest fears is probably one of the more common fears....dreaded writer's block. I think this is mostly because a majority of my writing experience is made up of school writing assignments, all topics that have been chosen for me. What happens if I can't think of something worthy to say? What if the things I have to say don't accurately represent my feelings? What if I don't fully understand all the information? It gets to a point where I spend more time over-analyzing then forming relevant thoughts for whatever writing project I am working on. I think that the more I worry about not having the relevant facts I need, the more I stray away from the ultimate goal of having a well-thought out project. I don't usually feel that when I am journaling. I think this is because I usually journal free-thought style, and I don't have to follow any particular guildlines. What I write when I am journaling is un-edited, unprocessed thoughts. They are true to what I am feeling at any given moment. In contrast, writing projects for school must meet certain criteria and I fear that those guildlines turn out to be more of an restraint to my writing than an asset. When I feel constrained in the way that I write, whether it is with criteria or for some other problem, I feel I struggle the most to find inspiration.
I think if I learned anything from previous experience, it would be that the more I struggle to make something work, the less likely I am to find inspiration. If I didn't panic about writing a well-written paper, and just wrote what I knew, then I would probably fare much better. Instead I hit a mode of panic when it comes to "crunch time" and I still don't have the paper written, or even worse, it isn't written in a way that I am happy with. Eventually, I hope I will learn, and maybe ease my dreaded writer's block.
Word Count : 342
I think if I learned anything from previous experience, it would be that the more I struggle to make something work, the less likely I am to find inspiration. If I didn't panic about writing a well-written paper, and just wrote what I knew, then I would probably fare much better. Instead I hit a mode of panic when it comes to "crunch time" and I still don't have the paper written, or even worse, it isn't written in a way that I am happy with. Eventually, I hope I will learn, and maybe ease my dreaded writer's block.
Word Count : 342
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
My Relationship With Reading
I have had quite the rollercoaster relationship with reading. When I was growing up, my mother worked as a librarian, so while other kids watched television, my mother always favoured reading books. While some kids went to parks to play, we found our adventures within the covers of a book, hiding within the library. It wasn't uncommon for my siblings and I to spend our days searching the shelves of the library for the treasures we planned to take home. I enjoyed the freedom to read about worlds that I had the freedom to create within my imagination. I just couldn't seem to get enough!
When I got into middle school and high school, my relationship with reading took a drastic turn. Before, I had always chosen the books that had seemed to call my name, and intrigued me. But now, I was being assigned what to read, and at times, I found I had absolutely no desire to explore the worlds that were being thrust upon me. My interest in my assigned reading depleated and soon enough, my world seemed to revolve around other things like sports, music and my friends. My relationship with reading had become so strained that I would rather read the Sparknotes version of the book, than dive into the contents of the book itself.
After high-school, I took a job with a traveling music ministry team. We spent hours upon hours traveling to our various bookings and without realizing it, I found myself returning back to my love of reading. With very little else to do, I found myself drawn back to the written word. Not only that, but I realized how much I missed reading. It also seemed to be my only reliable source of entertainment. We were never guarenteed internet or television, but I could always count on having a book to occupy my time. I also realized that my tastes in reading had changed. I was quite more adventurous in exploring new genres. I found myself enjoying mystery books, biographies, and even the occasional reference book. I even opened myself up to reading a few of the books I had dreaded in school, and I must admit, they weren't half bad. Some, in fact, have become personal favorites of mine.
As I mentioned before, my relationship with reading has been a rollercoaster to say the least. There have been good times, but there have been strained times. All in all I am glad for both, because I can look back fondly on the memories I had as a child, but also appreciate what a joy it is to discover a love for reading again.
Word Count: 443
When I got into middle school and high school, my relationship with reading took a drastic turn. Before, I had always chosen the books that had seemed to call my name, and intrigued me. But now, I was being assigned what to read, and at times, I found I had absolutely no desire to explore the worlds that were being thrust upon me. My interest in my assigned reading depleated and soon enough, my world seemed to revolve around other things like sports, music and my friends. My relationship with reading had become so strained that I would rather read the Sparknotes version of the book, than dive into the contents of the book itself.
After high-school, I took a job with a traveling music ministry team. We spent hours upon hours traveling to our various bookings and without realizing it, I found myself returning back to my love of reading. With very little else to do, I found myself drawn back to the written word. Not only that, but I realized how much I missed reading. It also seemed to be my only reliable source of entertainment. We were never guarenteed internet or television, but I could always count on having a book to occupy my time. I also realized that my tastes in reading had changed. I was quite more adventurous in exploring new genres. I found myself enjoying mystery books, biographies, and even the occasional reference book. I even opened myself up to reading a few of the books I had dreaded in school, and I must admit, they weren't half bad. Some, in fact, have become personal favorites of mine.
As I mentioned before, my relationship with reading has been a rollercoaster to say the least. There have been good times, but there have been strained times. All in all I am glad for both, because I can look back fondly on the memories I had as a child, but also appreciate what a joy it is to discover a love for reading again.
Word Count: 443
Monday, January 9, 2012
And so the story begins...
Hello folks! My name is Courtney and I am a sophomore. Right now, I am working towards a degree in Communication Disorders. When I was in high school, I did a career profile on Speech Pathology, and at the time it was somewhat interesting to me, but nothing that I really felt lead to pursue.
After high-school, I didn't really know what it was that I wanted to do with my life, or where I wanted to go. Instead I took quite a different path. I applied for a traveling music missionary position. By far, it was one of the best experiences of my life. Everyday was a new city, a new host-family, and whole new walk of life. I enjoyed every bit of my job. I loved that at the end of the night, I felt truly fulfilled. I learned that I loved being able to make a positive impact on a person's life. I knew I wanted to make a difference in whatever it was that I decided to do with my life.
After traveling, I went back home and applied at the local university in my town. Still, I did not really know what I wanted to do. I tried a variety of general courses to try and pin-point what major was cut out for me.
After awhile, I still didn't find that "perfect fit" and so I left school, to save money and try and narrow down what I wanted to study. I started volunteering at different places. Eventually, I stumbled upon a speech pathologist willing to let me observe her classroom. It only took a couple minutes for me to realize that it was the fit I have been looking for all along. I loved witnessing children work at overcoming the obstacles that were in their way. The joy and excitement they had every time they surpassed their own expectations brightened my day considerably.
At last, I finally had what I considered to be my calling!
Since I am working full-time, I decided my best option would be to go to school online.
Word Count - 348
After high-school, I didn't really know what it was that I wanted to do with my life, or where I wanted to go. Instead I took quite a different path. I applied for a traveling music missionary position. By far, it was one of the best experiences of my life. Everyday was a new city, a new host-family, and whole new walk of life. I enjoyed every bit of my job. I loved that at the end of the night, I felt truly fulfilled. I learned that I loved being able to make a positive impact on a person's life. I knew I wanted to make a difference in whatever it was that I decided to do with my life.
After traveling, I went back home and applied at the local university in my town. Still, I did not really know what I wanted to do. I tried a variety of general courses to try and pin-point what major was cut out for me.
After awhile, I still didn't find that "perfect fit" and so I left school, to save money and try and narrow down what I wanted to study. I started volunteering at different places. Eventually, I stumbled upon a speech pathologist willing to let me observe her classroom. It only took a couple minutes for me to realize that it was the fit I have been looking for all along. I loved witnessing children work at overcoming the obstacles that were in their way. The joy and excitement they had every time they surpassed their own expectations brightened my day considerably.
At last, I finally had what I considered to be my calling!
Since I am working full-time, I decided my best option would be to go to school online.
Word Count - 348
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